In his book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" Dr. Stephen R. Covey suggests that we should "Seek win-win."

This is all well and good, but if I want to follow Dr. Covey's advice I really need to know exactly what should I do on Monday morning in order to "seek win-win."  I need something concrete.  I don't need platitudes, even when those platitudes are correct.

Most people do not have a reliable method for crafting win-win solutions on demand.  As a result, they can't create win-win solutions when they most need them.  And so, they eventually come to conclude that "Seek win-win" is, at best, totally impractical advice.

But win-win solutions do exist.  And we should seek them.  But without a practical method for creating win-win on demand, the utterly correct advice to seek win-win must degenerate to nothing more than lip service.

Most of us, I'd expect, have at one time or another experienced a win-win resolution of some serious problem.

To be sure we are on the same page I want to offer a simple example of what I mean by a win-win solution:

You're back in grade school.  You have an important test coming up.  In order to pass the test, you know you should study.  But it's Thursday night, and your favorite television shows are on tonight.

Instead of studying for the test, you watch television instead.  You don't study for the test, and by the time your parents check on you, it's 11:00PM and too late to study.  You go to bed worried about the test and regretting your decision to watch television instead of studying.

The next morning, you wake up, and look out your bedroom window.  As you gaze upon the scene, you can't quite believe your eyes.  Overnight, more than a foot of snow has fallen.  You turn on the radio and search for the AM news station.  As you listen, the announcer reads the list of schools that are closed for the day due to snow.  Finally, she reads your school.  Yes!  You have been granted a reprieve.

This situation could be viewed as a win-win for you.  You were able to watch television, and you still have an opportunity to do well on the test (if you are wise.)

Now, we can't make it snow on demand, at least not on a wide scale.  And for most of us, creating win-win solutions to other, more serious problems, seems just as impossible.

Wouldn't it be great if we could create win-win solutions on demand, when and where we needed them?

The reality is, we can.  But I need to offer some caveats first.  As you might expect, there is no free lunch here:

1. Solving problems in a win-win manner is always somewhat more time and energy intensive than accepting a lesser solution.  Lesser solutions include win-lose, and being too quick to compromise on the necessary conditions (needs) inherent in the problem.
   
   So, we need to be willing to invest a bit more time and energy when we seek win-win.  If we do this, we will be repaid handsomely.
   
2. We also need a better understanding of exactly what we mean by the term "problem."  For example, we need to understand the internal structure of these things we call problems or dilemmas.  In some sense, we need to become scientists, looking inside problems, seeing and then understanding their internal structure.
   
   So, we need to do a bit of studying to learn more about problem solving in a win-win way.
3. As we study the "internal structure" of problems, dilemmas and conflicts, we will become more adept at recognizing the forces, beliefs and assumptions that cause them to exist.  We will need to invest some time and energy to build this awareness.
   
   So, we will need to learn a bit more about how we can "surface" and explore the many hidden beliefs and assumptions that underly the problems we perceive.
4. We also need a safe environment and the time to practice our problem-solving skills.  Just as it's important to have fire drills before the fire breaks out, it's important to learn how to craft win-win well before you really, really need it.
   
   So, we will have to do a bit of practicing.  Fortunately, this practice is not difficult.  In fact, it can even be a lot of fun.
   

If you are willing to accept these caveats, then I'm here to tell you you can learn to craft win-win solutions for the serious problems that concern you.

I predict that when you learn to craft win-win on-demand for yourself, some surprising things will happen.

First, you'll have a new, or increased, sense of optimism.  There is a quote that I like:

     "Do just once what others say you cannot and you'll never listen to their limitations again. -- James Cook"

For me, this is reality.  I've crafted win-win solutions for problems large and small.  For me, nothing is impossible.  Difficult, perhaps.  A lot of work, yes, definitely.  But impossible?  No.

Second, I think you'll move to a new stage of awareness.  I think you will start to look at things differently.  This new perspective can be quite invigorating.  And, it lasts.  I've enjoyed this new perspective for more than fifteen years now.

Finally, you'll be in a much better position to help yourself and those you care about.  But let me offer a warning -- when word gets around about your unique ability to craft novel, breakthrough solutions, you may find yourself with more "business" than you can handle!

So, in closing, let me just say this.  Win-win solutions to serious problems can be found, almost mechanically, if you are willing to do the work.  I have learned to craft them for myself and for others, and you can too.

If you'd like to know more about how we can help you learn how to craft win-win solutions to serious, demanding problems, you have many options for doing so.  Having a look at some of the articles on our website is a good start.  You can also contact us with any questions you have.  Finally, if you want to bring practical education, training and coaching to your organization, you can do that too.